


Best Laid Plans

by Flight_at_Midnight



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: And drunk frivolities because of course, F/M, Fluff, Havolina, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Romance, Royai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23858581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flight_at_Midnight/pseuds/Flight_at_Midnight
Summary: All Rebecca Catalina wants on her night out is to find herself a decent man and get her best friend laid. But when your best friend is one stubborn Riza Hawkeye, even the best laid plans can go awry. Havolina + Royai fluff
Relationships: Rebecca Catalina/Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Comments: 18
Kudos: 101





	Best Laid Plans

“Come on Riza,” Rebecca wheedled, bending over Riza’s desk to capture her friend’s gaze. Rebecca knew she needed to weaponize her puppy dog eyes against her unwilling friend, and fast before the men of Team Mustang returned from their lunch break. “This is your last Friday in East City. We have to make the most of tonight.” 

Riza, thanks to her practice with Black Hayate, didn’t falter under Rebecca’s imploring eyes. “I need to pack,” she responded, barely looking up from the transfer paperwork that’d piled up at her desk during their lunch.

Rebecca stood up and stomped her foot. “You’re _still packed_ from when you moved here! Quit giving me these excuses and humor me.” She clasped her hands in front of her chest for dramatic effect. “Please—we have one last chance for you to find me a decent man!”

Riza looked up at her friend and sighed. “Fine. But we’re home by 11.” 

Rebecca squealed and bent over again to hug Riza. “Perfect! We’ll meet at my place at 8. Oh you won’t regret it!”

“Famous last words, Rebecca.”

“No, really. It’s gonna be a blast.” Rebecca already had a plan in motion for her uptight friend to relax a little tonight. _Or a lot._ “No guns will be necessary. The only thing getting cocked tonight is you.”

Riza sputtered. “Rebecca!” Her eyes skittered to the slightly ajar office door as Rebecca giggled at her friend’s discomfort. “Not in the office.”

“Not in the office what?” Lieutenant Havoc questioned, waggling his eyebrows as he walked into the room with the rest of the men. Rebecca watched in further amusement as Riza’s eyes widened slightly, trying to discern how much they’d heard. Apparently nothing salacious, Rebecca noted with disappointment, as they looked at the women with curiosity—Colonel Mustang in particular. Nosy bastard.

Rebecca then turned her attention back to Havoc, the instrumental piece to her plans. He wasn’t the most perfect match for Riza of course, but Rebecca knew Mr. Certified Slab of Country Boy was a good guy and hoped he could be just what Riza needed for the night. “Welllll-”

“Not in the office do we do our paperwork on time, apparently,” Riza interrupted, shooting Rebecca a warning glance. She stood up from the desk with the finished paperwork in her arms. “I’ll be taking these to General Grumman’s office for his approval. I’ll see you later, Lieutenant Catalina.” Riza walked out brusquely, leaving the men taken aback at her quick departure.

A smile crept across Rebecca’s lips. This worked out better than she could’ve planned. As the men shuffled back to their desks, she mustered up her sweetest face.

“So,” Rebecca said, twirling her curly hair on her index finger, “Who’s free to go out tonight with me and Riza?” 

“Lieutenant Hawkeye, going out?” Mustang asked, leaning back in his chair. Rebecca internally sighed. She didn’t really want Colonel Hotpants to come and make Riza feel weird about letting loose with her boss there. But maybe he’d be good for keeping other women away from Havoc.

Havoc piped up before she could respond. “Oh hell yeah. Count us in.” Perfect.

-

At 8 o’clock sharp, Rebecca heard a knock at her apartment door. Opening it revealed Riza standing at the threshold, looking slightly chilly in her outfit. Though Riza had opted for a modest violet sweater, Rebecca smiled in approval at the black miniskirt that showed off her friend’s shapely legs. She hoped Havoc was a legs guy. Rebecca, on the other hand, had gone for a shirt that showed off plenty of cleavage.

“Riza! So, so happy you’re here. And I’m even happier you finally wore the skirt I got you for your birthday!”

Riza smiled sheepishly, tugging at the hem of the skirt. “Only for you, Rebecca.”

The brunette beamed. “We’re going to have the best night,” she smiled mischievously, directing them to the kitchen.

“Jeez Becks,” Riza said, looking horrified at the ten vodka shots lined upon on the kitchen counter. “Trying to recreate your twenty-second birthday? If so, we should probably have an ambulance on standby this time.”

“Oh, that’s just two shots per person,” Rebecca replied, waving her hand nonchalantly. “No need for medical assistance, unless you’ve gotten weak on me.”

Riza set her clutch down on the counter and narrowed her eyes at Rebecca. “Per person? Who else did you invite?”

Right on cue, they heard the apartment door open. “Knock knock,” Havoc called into the apartment. “No fear ladies, the party has arrived!” 

Rebecca snickered as Riza’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “You didn’t,” she mouthed, as Rebecca called out to the new arrivals.

“We’re in the kitchen! You better be ready for some shots!” 

The kitchen door opened and in walked Havoc, Mustang, and Breda. Although Falman and Fuery couldn’t come (lamely citing their impending transfer), Rebecca was still pretty happy with the turnout. Despite the presence of Colonel Make-Riza-Do-All-My-Work-So-I-Can-Go-Womanize Mustang.

Havoc let out a low whistle, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “Looking good, ladies.” Rebecca felt heat rise pleasantly to her cheeks as his eyes panned quickly to her chest. So maybe he wasn’t a legs guy. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mustang not-so-subtly looking at Riza while everyone else’s attention was on Havoc, but Riza kept her gaze steadily averted away from him. Great, Rebecca mused, Riza already feels weird to have her boss here, and neither Havoc nor Mustang were helping. Oh well, nothing a whole lot of alcohol can’t fix.

“Sweet talking won’t get you anywhere with us, Havoc!” Rebecca responded, grabbing a shot and thrusting it at him. “Here, use your mouth for something other than sucking on those awful cigarettes.” 

He took the shot from Rebecca’s hand and grinned roguishly. “There’s plenty of things my mouth can do.” Rebecca watched the muscles in his arm flex as he put his cigarette behind his ear and brought the glass to his mouth, downing the shot with ease. Although Rebecca considered Riza to be the better match for Havoc, with them already being close friends and leaving for Central together, damn if he wasn’t hot as hell. 

Breda rolled his eyes and snatched a shot off the counter. “I’m going to need a lot more than this if Havoc’s gonna keep this up.” 

“Agreed,” Mustang said, grabbing a shot and passing it to a somewhat unwilling Riza. She took it from him, despite eyeing it with trepidation. For once, Rebecca appreciated Mustang’s presence. 

“Bottoms up!” Rebecca cheered.

-

A bottle of vodka’s worth of shots later, the group made it to the bar down the street from Rebecca’s apartment. Everyone was slightly unsteady on their feet, except (and much to Rebecca’s annoyance) Riza. Rebecca had seen Riza take several shots, but the woman was a goddamn tank. Hopefully she was feeling it more than she let on.

As they settled down in the booth with their drinks, Rebecca tried to jockey it so Riza and Havoc sat next to each other, but somehow Riza and Mustang ended up on the other side of the booth while she was squished between Breda and Havoc. Riza just couldn’t stop herself from being Mustang’s bodyguard whenever he was around, and it was very much killing Rebecca’s plans to get her friend laid. 

Rebecca now had to try her best to ignore how nice Havoc’s aftershave smelled and how each nerve of her thigh that brushed against his seemed to buzz. She needed to kickstart her plan back in motion. 

“C’mon Ri, let’s dance! Remember how we used to kill it on the dance floor during our nights out in the Academy?” She turned to Havoc. “All the guys would fawn over her and she’d shoot them down with that ruthless Hawk’s Eye accuracy.”

“Oh really?” Mustang asked, the edge of his mouth quirking into a smile. Riza rolled her eyes, twirling her drink’s straw around with her fingers.

“Rebecca seems to forget that she’d yell at every passing man that I was single and good with my hands.”

Mustang choked on his drink as the other two men snorted. Maybe Riza was feeling the alcohol more than she let on. 

“It worked, didn’t it? Remember that one guy who proposed after you slep-”

“Okay okay let’s dance,” Riza interrupted, standing up faster than Rebecca had ever seen in her life. Havoc and Breda looked like they were stifling laughter, while Mustang’s eyes had narrowed. Double standard bastard, doesn’t like women having a little fun while he goes out and sleeps with half the city.

Rebecca giggled and pushed on Havoc to make her way out of the booth. “Join us Havoc!”

“Huh? Oh sure. If you think Hawkeye can move, wait til you see me wreak havoc on the dance floor.” He grinned lopsidedly and Rebecca felt her heart squeeze. “Don’t think I’m quite as good with my hands though, seeing as I’ve never been proposed to.” 

Rebecca felt Riza’s eyes shooting daggers at her back as they moved to the dance floor of the bar. With Mustang and Breda remaining at the table, now was her chance to get Riza and Havoc closer.

Her best friend _was_ a very good dancer. The swaying of her hips flowed with the hypnotic movement of her long hair, and Rebecca watched as several men in the bar took notice. Havoc, however, stayed close to Rebecca. She flushed as he leaned in toward her ear.

“It’s a shame I’m leaving for Central so soon,” he yelled over the noise of the music. Rebecca’s eyes fluttered shut at the proximity of his face to hers. But she chastised herself, using all her willpower to pull herself together for her best friend.

“At least you’ll still be with Riza!” she replied, pulling back slightly from Havoc’s face.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, it’ll be nice having someone who’s basically my sister by my side.” Sister? He put two fingers under Rebecca’s chin and gently turned her face up to look into his earnest eyes. “But I’m going to miss a lot of things about East City.”

“Oh. OH.” 

Havoc smiled as he dropped his hands to her hips and pulled Rebecca against his chest. “Yeah. Oh.”

Rebecca wrapped her arms around Jean’s neck, and before she knew quite what she was doing she kissed him. And oh god could Jean kiss. He kissed her deeply and she could taste the vodka on his tongue, spurring her on. She pressed into his chest, running her fingers through his sandy hair, and he let out a low moan that went straight through her. 

By the time they broke apart for air, breathing heavily and still intertwined on the dance floor, Rebecca noticed that Riza, Mustang, and Breda are all gone. Dammit. There went her plans to get Riza laid tonight.

“So,” Jean said, pulling Rebecca flush against his hips and nuzzling her neck. “Wanna go back to your place?” 

Rebecca giggled and nodded. Maybe this was for the better anyway.

The next morning, Rebecca woke up to a pounding headache. She groaned as the light streamed in through her blinds, then felt her heart sink as she noticed that she was alone in her bed.

“Good morning,” Jean said, flooding Rebecca with relief as he walked into the room with a glass of water. He handed it to her before settling back into bed. “How you feeling?”

“Ugh.” Rebecca downed the water and felt the pressure in her head lessen slightly.

“I hope that’s a Hangover ugh and not a What Have I Done ugh.”

Rebecca put the glass down on her nightstand and moved to straddle Jean. “Oh, I think both,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. 

Jean’s hands found her waist again and he grinned wickedly. “Looks like I’ll just have to change your mind about one of those things.”

After round two and a much-needed hangover breakfast, Jean begrudgingly left, promising to see Rebecca one last time before leaving for Central on Wednesday.

Rebecca was still smiling hazily to herself when she spotted Riza’s clutch still on the counter. Maybe she should return it now and check on how her friend was doing.

-

Rebecca raised her eyebrows at a very disheveled but relaxed-looking Riza Hawkeye in a bathrobe opening her apartment door. Her tangled hair stuck out at odd angles.

“Rebecca,” Riza said, looking somewhat taken aback at her visitor. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to return your clutch—I didn’t realize you’d still be in bed.” 

Riza waved her hand and changed the subject. “So, how was your night?” she asked pointedly.

Smiling mischievously, Rebecca moved closer to Riza to hand her the clutch. “A lady never kisses and tells.”

Riza laughed. “But you absolutely screw and tell.” 

Rebecca smacked her friend’s arm and giggled. “Okay okay, you may have a-” She squinted, looking closer at Riza’s neck. Was that stubble burn? And her hair was definitely worse than your average bedhead.

“Wait. Did you sleep with someone last night too?” 

Riza’s eyes quickly flitted back into her apartment, but Rebecca noticed. “Don’t tell me he’s still here!”

“Rebecca,” Riza hissed. “How about we grab lunch tomorrow and we can talk then?”

Bouncing giddily, Rebecca clapped her hands together. “Of course! You better tell me everything.” She winked as she headed down the apartment hall. “And have fun with your friend.”

So her plan worked! Riza Hawkeye got laid. Rebecca just wondered which poor guy was going to propose to her this time.

-

Riza threw the clutch on her couch and trudged back to her bedroom. She wondered what lie she was going to fabricate for her overly excited friend.

“Who was that?”

Riza looked down at a shirtless Roy Mustang, lounging in her bed and scratching behind Black Hayate’s ears. “Just Rebecca returning my purse.”

She took off her robe, feeling Roy’s warm gaze travel up and down her body as she climbed back into bed.

“A shame I won’t be hearing more Academy stories from her while we’re in Central. Just how many outstanding engagements do you have?”

“Why? Jealous?” Riza smirked. Roy huffed and pulled her into his arms. 

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, kissing the crook of her neck. “Especially after seeing all those eyes on you while you danced in that tiny skirt.” Riza hummed in satisfaction. She hadn’t known Roy was coming, but she was ultimately glad he did. They didn’t have many opportunities to sneak away like this.

He glanced around the room at the boxes that Riza conveniently never bothered unpacking. “Do you think you’ll actually unpack your new apartment in Central?”

“You know I don’t have a lot of time,” Riza replied, settling deeper into Roy’s arms. “And it doesn’t help that I keep taking my work home with me.” 

She felt Roy smirk against the back of her head. “Sounds like your boss rides you hard.”

“No, definitely not hard enough.”


End file.
